Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
You don't make any sense
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