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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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