How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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