his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
