Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
