I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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