You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
