From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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