i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
