Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
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