So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize