We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
