I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
