Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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