The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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