So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
He has the fingertips of a God
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