I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
