I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
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