it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
In America we eat man semen.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
