So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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