how can u be prego again
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
