We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
