I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
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