Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
