just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
