i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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