I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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