no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
