I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
