I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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