The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
