going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
