Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
