we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
