sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
