Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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