There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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