he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
