I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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