you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
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