Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
