He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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