Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
