do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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