I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
My bed smells like the plague
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
