i think my tv is drunk
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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