lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
