Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
