Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
