I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Randomize
