Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
