Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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