ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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