Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
