I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
