when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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