"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
