love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
We are all done wearing pants today
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
