Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
