I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
