id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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