I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
