i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize