He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Randomize
