respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
