Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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