It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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