Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize