Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
