Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Randomize
