1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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