i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
