She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
