help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Randomize
