I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
